Listening and Responding in Marriage

A challenge and benefit of being a pastor is working with people who are struggling in their marriages. The challenge is that it is always hard...everybody hurts. However, the benefits are numerous. One benefit is that I am continually pushed into opportunities to glean from the process and hopefully respond positively in my own marriage.

Recently, I have been made keenly aware of the importance in listening and responding to our spouses. So much rides on doing both. To hear and not listen only devalues our spouse. It shows we don't care to really understand. To listen and understand and not respond devalues them more. It shows we don't care about them more than we care about ourselves. Over time, this lack of listening and responding results in a deficiency of real intimacy. Then, small problems consistently become big problems, the marriage reaches a crisis point, and the husband and wife wonder how they ever got there.

Trying to pay attention...