A Meaningful Life

A few months ago, I finished Donald Miller's A Million Miles In A Thousand Years.  I talked about it with a friend at the time and then, like most things, I didn't think about it much anymore.  Then, that friend emailed me about it today.  Sorting back through the book, I was reminded of some significant things within it.  Here's one of those excerpts.

"If you watched a movie about a guy who wanted a Volvo and worked for years to get it, you wouldn't cry at the end when he drove off the lot, testing the windshield wipers.  You wouldn't tell your friends you saw a beautiful movie or go home and put a record on to think about the story you'd seen.  The truth is, you wouldn't remember that movie a week later, except you'd feel robbed and want your money back.  Nobody cries at the end of a movie about a guy who wants a Volvo.

But we spend years actually living those stories, and expect our lives to feel meaningful.  The truth is, if what we choose to do with our lives won't make a story meaningful, it won't make a life meaningful either."  

Proud of God

So, like I said in an earlier post, Karoline made the performance dance team.  I learned later on that she was a "Level 2" dancer.  That means she isn't as good as the "Level 3" dancers.  While never complaining, I knew it bothered her.  Her cousins and friends were all "Level 3".  She worked hard...stretching and dancing in most of her free time.

Then, one afternoon she got the message.  She was being moved up.  Promoted.  She improved to "Level 3".  She now dances with her friends and cousins.

What's so interesting to me is how she responded.  Feeling great about what had happened, but not wanting to fall victim to pride, she weighed her words and with a huge smile on her face, she told me she was "proud of God" for allowing her to move up.

That "proud of God" comment...dang.  That chokes me up.

Expanding Family

Years ago, Meredith and I made the decision to not have more than two children.  We've constantly felt blessed to have two great kids.  However, there have been times when I wondered what it would have been like to have more.  Meredith, who pukes her guts out for 9 months of pregnancy has thought about it less than I have.

Before our kids were born, we had two dogs, both of them Westies (Duncan and Macduff).  As we all moved through life together, and our lives got busier, and our money grew thinner, and the dogs got older and became more expensive, I made the decision to get rid of them.  We gave them to a couple who have literally spent thousands of dollars ensuring their welfare.  It was a tough decision made years ago.  Michael still prays for those dogs.  I've wondered what our life would be like with them still in our lives.

And then, God graciously gives us a small taste.  Within the last few months, our family has expanded.  No, Meredith didn't get pregnant (that would be Biblical Mary-like).  We have "adopted" another "child" for a few months.  She's actually a full-fledged adult finishing college.  She does fill up a room and requires her share of bathroom time though.  Her name is Leah...because that's what her parents named her.

Not long before Leah joined us, we adopted a dog...a Westie.  Found by some friends who couldn't keep him, we took him in.  He was matted and full of fleas.  Now, he's part of the family.  His name is Luther...because of Martin Luther and Martin Luther King Jr. and Luther of the kid's show "Zeke and Luther" and because of Luther Vandross.

Leah's not really our child.  Luther is not Duncan or Macduff.  But I'm thankful that God would be so graceful to send them our way.  We love them both.

Preparing For The Inevitable

As we've watched our kids grow over the past few years, we knew that a time was coming when they would pare down their activities and focus on only a couple.  A few months ago, Karoline decided that she wanted to dance.  Not being a great dancer, she had a lot of work to do in preparation for the tryouts that came a couple of days ago.  So, she doggedly went after it.  I bought some wood so the multi-purpose room in our house could also receive the role of dance studio, and every time Karoline had any free time, she was in there.  She stretched, worked and anticipated the upcoming tryouts.

The dance team that she wanted to be a part of isn't church-league softball, where everyone gets to play.  The tryouts are real, and historically, some girls don't make it.  At the beginning of the summer (months away from tryouts), I realized the urgency of instilling identity and value into her.  Yes, it's something I've always prioritized as a dad, but it was time to turn the volume up on that.  Therefore, the summer was filled with "daddy-daughter time" and a constant flow of words from me telling her how valuable she is, how beautiful she is, and how special God created her.

I did all of those things anticipating the very real possibility of  Karoline experiencing rejection.  As it turns out, she made the team.  However, I'm going to keep the volume up on building into my daughter because I know that rejection is inevitable.  There will be boys and teams and "friends" that will challenge her view of herself.  When (not if) rejection comes, I hope she lays in bed at night knowing who she really is.  I'm doing more than hoping for that, I'm working for that.

Not In Control

A good friend of mine called last night.  After much effort and prayer, he and his wife had their first child.  Then, while still in the hospital his wife is diagnosed with advanced leukemia.  Diagnosis yesterday, chemo today.  She'll be in the hospital for at least 21 days, unable to see their newborn.  

On the same day his wife is diagnosed with leukemia, his brother has brain surgery.  Wow.  

As I'm talking with my friend, another friend of mine is beeping in.  I don't answer but call him back.  He was calling to tell me that his toddler inhaled some "foreign matter" and is having to go under anesthesia and have it removed.  Wow.  

You can take away a lot from these revelations.  One thing I know for sure..we are absolutely not in control.

Growing Up

Just the other day I ran into someone that I haven't seen in 16+ years.  We spent a few minutes re-connecting about our lives and about other people we have in common.  Then she said, "I guess we all had to grow up sometime."  I agreed and we went about our separate ways.  Later that day, I began to wonder who she was talking about?  Herself, the people we have in common, or me?  She was probably talking about all of the above, but I hope she was talking about me.  As I consider a lot of the choices I was making 16 years ago...I hope she was talking about me.

Reconnecting

I had lunch with a friend from my church today.  He's been going through a difficult divorce, and through all of the pain, he pulled away over the past few months.  Even though I knew about the struggles he was facing, as he pulled away, I neglected to pursue him.  We talked openly about all of that, and I gave him an honest excuse for my part.  I told him about how my schedule was full of meetings with people that were seeking to meet with me.  His response was, "Yeah, but the people who pull away are the ones that are hurting the most."  He's right.  So, after that conversation, I'm left reconsidering my time and priorities, who I available for and who I'm not.  I'm also rethinking about how we "do community" at Istrouma.  It was a great lunch.  I'm thankful for my friend, our God, and how I've reconnected with my calling to walk alongside people going through difficult seasons.